Have You REALLY Got a Dream?

I just had the amazing opportunity of attending a weekend conference that was ALL ABOUT empowering the Woman Entrepreneur.  There were so many amazingly inspirational people there - people who were donating their precious time and talents to devote themselves to us - women with a dream that this world can be a better place for ourselves, for our families, for our neighbors, for everyone.  And women who turn that dream into a passion with a plan of action. Well, spending a lot of time with such women is a very moving, very powerful thing!

But as the event drew to a close, I suddenly had that feeling that I had about two seconds before I was going to burst into tears and had better head for a sanctuary FAST!  So I did - I hid myself in a bathroom stall and cried silently for quite some time.  Then I left the room, fully composed (or so I thought), walked right up to a presenter's table, and broke down again!  It was a GREAT first impression moment, let me tell you! LOL! :-)

But really, it wasn't.  It made me feel so uncomfortable to be the center of attention in a moment of weakness and vulnerability; a moment when - to this particular person - I would have defined myself as confident, composed, a leader, even an equal; a moment that was so full of so many thoughts and feelings that I couldn't even identify or articulate what was going on with me.  Can you relate?  Have you ever been there?

As I have taken time to reflect on that these last few hours, I have realized a few things:
1) Nothing happened at that Conference to CREATE those feelings that moved me to tears.  It was all stuff I was already carrying around inside of me, things that I had not had enough exclusive time by myself to think about or even realize were lurking in the shadows. We NEED that reflection time on a consistent basis!  It's how we are wired, really, as women!  And it isn't something that anyone is going to GIVE us - we literally have to CREATE it for ourselves.

2) I. Am. Vulnerable.  And I do not like to be vulnerable.  But as I learned from Tiffany Peterson (The Lighthouse Principles) this weekend, being vulnerable - being UNCOMFORTABLE - in the pursuit of your dreams is part of the process that will lead you to be unstoppable and successful!  I need to be okay with uncomfortable to get to MY real power!  Vulnerable is not always bad.

3) I still don't know exactly what was wrong with me, but I do know that it left me feeling this overwhelming sense of being incredibly directed and incredibly lost at the same time. And now I need to clear the lost and get to the directed to find what God was trying to teach me with it all.

"So, what?" you might ask yourself if you were me and were the kind that believed all lessons are only as valuable as the action they move you to make.  "So, what?"  To be honest, I don't know yet.  But I DO know that this is a step that is going to have a very real role in helping me define, create, and LIVE my dreams!  And whatever it is that is pulling my heartstrings is a very REAL and POWERFUL part of that.  Definitely a step to lead me to defining, internalizing, and creating those dreams.

What do I hope YOU will take from this? As Rapunzel said, "Haven't any of you ever had a dream?"  I think at times as mothers, the answer is "No" far too often.  The dream is lost in the process of living -- even living IT through motherhood.  But you have to HAVE the dream before you can go and LIVE the dream!  You have to DEFINE the dream before you can go and CREATE the dream.  And you have to EMBRACE the struggles that lead up to you having it before you can go and OVERCOME the struggles and turn them to empowerment in your pursuit.  Even if your dream IS motherhood and you are already LIVING it, you have to KNOW that it is your dream to fully LIVE it as such.

Go. DEFINE your dreams!  And then definitely, definitely - Go. Live (create) your dreams!