Creating a Love Affair - With Yourself!!!

From Voicesofglass.com

I love this from Tiffany Peterson - one of my favorite professional development coaches out there!!!  Today's tip is for YOU, MOM -- Yes, YOU!!!  Trust me!!!  The best thing about DOING these things: when your children leave home, these habits will be natural for them; they won't even have to THINK about it - they'll just expect it for themselves and from the world.  Imagine a world full of children like THAT! I'm smiling just THINKING about it! ;-)

Your self esteem is like your set of fingerprints - they're on everything you touch: your bank account, your relationships, your health, you name it. It has a direct influence to how we show up in life and the results we're creating - or sabotaging.

The good news? You can build your confidence & self esteem like any other muscle to make it stronger and healthier in your life. You also can go to work on you, which in turn will go to work on everything in your life.

Consider this - do you treat yourself like a top priority in your life? Do you cheer yourself on or tear yourself down? Do you put everyone else first and yourself last, or not at all?

Quick Inventory: Where would you rate your current level of self esteem?

Now, ask yourself, what's one thing I can do to improve it? Begin doing it immediately! Part of building great self esteem is trusting ourselves and taking action on what our heart or intuition guides us to do.

This topic is deep and broad and we could literally do a 3 day workshop just on self esteem together. To help you get started on a path to enhancing your self esteem and therefore your life, consider these few insights to support you:

1.    Trust. Self confidence comes from having a deep sense of trust within ourselves. Do you trust yourself? If no, can you forgive yourself and commit to repairing trust within you? Stephen Covey teaches that the fastest way to build trust with ourselves and others is "to make and keep commitments"...whereas the opposite is also true. Every time we make and break commitments, we erode trust. Tighten up your word with yourself so you feel confident that you're in integrity with the boss - you!

2.    Self Care. Do you take time to exercise, get good sleep, pray or meditate - or any other activity that helps your physical and emotional well being? Do you make time for you? If not, begin with 15 minutes per day to start investing in you. This simple practice will add up to a big deal.

3.    Date Yourself. (I loved typing that by the way!) What I call a "Joy List", choose to do at least one thing a week that is just for you - a massage, a game of golf, hiking, baking your favorite treat - whatever brings you joy on any level, free to expensive, that brings you a sense of joy to your life. Ideally you do something daily or multiple times a week, but at least begin with one a week. You are responsible for your happiness - so go create it!

When our BEHAVIOR backs up the BELIEF that we're valuable and deserving, amazing things happen. Affirmations without action are simply "make believe." If your behavior doesn't align with the belief that you're fabulous, worthy, valuable, etc. then you'll struggle to really believe it and live it.

Deliberate Mom Assignment:

Create your own joy list - whether on a note pad, your laptop, or smart phone - begin adding things to it as you go that bring you joy - and then do them! Begin this week with doing at least one thing for yourself that brings you joy.

Whether you start small or go big, make yourself and your self esteem a top priority in your life.  You'll not only feel better, but you'll also attract better results to you.

See Yourself CLEARLY

Mirror Mirror on the Wall Fine Art Print - Jeff Kolker

I love the innocent thought-processes of children.

My 2-yr-old, who had just finished getting her hair done, ran downstairs and said, "Look, Daddy!" Daddy told her that she was the most beautiful little girl in the whole world! My 4-yr-old said, "But Daddy, I thought I was the most beautiful!"

My husband explained that just because her sister was beautiful too didn't make her any LESS beautiful, and that she was his VERY SPECIAL girl.

She said, "But Daddy - sometimes you get mad at me, like yesterday, and give me spankings." He said that sometimes she makes bad choices, so she does get in trouble.

She looked at him and said, "But I thought I was your special girl." He said she was. She said, "But Daddy! That just doesn't make any sense!"

I love how confident she is, that she expects everyone else to see her as only the best, the greatest, and to treat her that way ALWAYS!  Sometimes I don't love it so much - but mostly I wouldn't change it for anything in the world!

I remember when she was born, looking at her and wondering how in the world anyone in her life could ever look at her and see anything BUT beauty and goodness.  I thought about the hard times she would face growing up, the cruel jokes and comments kids make, the struggles and challenges of mortality.  And I shuddered at the thought that she would EVER buy into any of the lies and believe she was anything less than the VERY best, the MOST beautiful.

In some ways, that may reflect more on my struggles than hers - and me wanting to protect her from them.  But somehow we have managed, up to this point at least, to flood her with confidence - which, to her credit, she has received with elegance and grace.

What do you see in yourself?  What comes to mind when you envision YOU?

I am reminded of a scripture passage in 1 Corinthians 13:11-12 ---
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a [wo]man, I put away childish things.  For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

See yourself CLEARLY today!  Not through a glass, darkly, but in full light!  See yourself as the amazing, beautiful, special, talented, dynamic person that you are! As you move towards making resolutions for the next year, include a tradition of making resolutions of CELEBRATION and GRATITUDE. Truly you deserve NOTHING less!

If You Could Teach Your Children 10 Things

I know we have all heard that a goal not written down doesn't exist.  I'm sure you have also heard that if you try to chase too many things at once, you end up losing them all. 

I am a list writer because it's the only way I can keep my thoughts organized and keep it together - make sure I actually get things done that I need to get done.

So when I heard this advice from Jack Canfield at a recent conference I attended, it really struck a cord in my heart.  Of all the things in the world that I could be - of all the things I would or might even want to teach my children, if I had to FOCUS in on just 10, nothing more, no cheating, no combining, just the 10 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS . . . what would they be?

At first I thought about this in terms of identifying the 10 most important things.  But lately, as I've tried to focus in on the most important things in my own life and make sure that they get done, I realized that this invitation is about more than IDENTIFYING.  It's also about ACCOMPLISHING!

You see, if I have a never-ending list of things I am always working on, I am probably never getting anything done.  When I have a focused list of a few things I am intentionally . . . deliberately . . . working on, I am CERTAIN to succeed in doing them.

Take to heart this invitation.  My husband pointed out on my twins' 4th birthday that we had already gone through about 1/5 of our time WITH them.  And our time with them only amounts to about 1/5 of their entire lives.  But what we accomplish during that 1/5 of their lives will shape them for the rest of it.  We have no time to waste with our precious charge to teach our children.

So if you get just 10 things that they will remember FOREVER and NO MATTER WHAT, what do you choose?  Write them down.  Then make them happen! 

I Like to Ride My Bicycle

Okay - this is NOT a picture of my family on a bike ride today.  In order to BE a picture of my family on a bike ride today, the man and woman would have to switch places, the woman in front would have to be 8 months pregnant, and the trailer behind would have to hold two.  THEN you would have our beautiful family bike ride today! :-)  But since I have NO WAY of capturing that on film, this is the next best thing.

We rode for probably 8 miles today.  I was SO PROUD of my twins as they took turns on the tandem bike.  Almost from the moment we left our house, my 4-y-o daughter was telling her twin brother, "Guess what?  Me and Mommy are going to BEAT you on our bike ride today!"  And that was the theme of our ride - with my 2-year-old chiming in with whomever was loudest and/or riding in the bike trailer with her when Daddy occasionally passed Mommy.

But what stood out to me the most was how GOOD it felt to be OUT together!  We weren't spending money, we weren't doing things that took a lot of prep work.  We were just out in nature, riding over the fallen Autumn leaves, past the smelly cows and beautiful horses and fields, over the bumpy bridges, down the hills, up the hills, having the BEST time together!  We laughed and reminisced.  We talked about the future and baby names.  We dreamed about living in the houses in our favorite neighborhoods along the route.  The kids chimed in and added that we were going to have horses and chickens and . . . . We just truly ENJOYED each other!

So many people are intent on giving their kids what they never had.  My husband and I realized today that we are no different . . . and today, we gave our children something we didn't have much growing up and would have LOVED more of.  Then I started to think about ALL the things we gave them today:

• We gave them a family outing that got us all some GREAT exercise (without the word exercise ever coming up in our minds or theirs)!  
• We gave them a family tradition of spending time together that doesn't cost money.  
• We passed onto them our family value of appreciating,enjoying, and meditating in nature. 
• We left our cell phones home and gave them the example of getting unplugged for family - that THEY are absolutely the MOST important things to us.  
• We gave them a MEMORY that they will never forget . . . and will be such a part of them that they really won't remember when it started.

Some things really are - above everything else - simply about TIME!

Halloween Book Fairy

Picture This: Halloween is over.  Your kids have GOBS of candy from the neighborhood and other parties you visited while Trick-or-Treating.  You don't want them to EAT all of it (horrible for them - and the sugar high? UGH!).  So you give them a few pieces and then put the rest away - for "them" to have later.

Next thing you know, you have joined the throngs of closet moms/dad . . . hiding in the closet, sneaking a bite of this, a handful of that, the last Reese's peanut butter cup, the only Almond Joy.

Can you relate?  Of course YOU'VE never been there, right?  Neither have I! :-)

So when I read my good friend Amanda's family tradition for that Halloween candy that comes into THEIR house each year, I had to share!

Each year, each child is given a Ziploc bag to put their FAVORITE pieces of candy into.  And they can eat that bag of candy whenever they want - it's theirs!  But the rest of the candy is left out the evening of November 1.  And the Halloween Book Fairy comes that night, takes their candy, leaves them a book, and returns the candy in December - just in time to decorate gingerbread houses over Thanksgiving Break. (If you're wondering where she takes it - GRANDMA'S HOUSE!)

Isn't that FANTASTIC?!?!?!  We LOVE books around here - and some Halloween/Thanksgiving books would be so fun to make part of our yearly tradition of giving the kids a book for Christmas every year.