Have You REALLY Got a Dream?

I just had the amazing opportunity of attending a weekend conference that was ALL ABOUT empowering the Woman Entrepreneur.  There were so many amazingly inspirational people there - people who were donating their precious time and talents to devote themselves to us - women with a dream that this world can be a better place for ourselves, for our families, for our neighbors, for everyone.  And women who turn that dream into a passion with a plan of action. Well, spending a lot of time with such women is a very moving, very powerful thing!

But as the event drew to a close, I suddenly had that feeling that I had about two seconds before I was going to burst into tears and had better head for a sanctuary FAST!  So I did - I hid myself in a bathroom stall and cried silently for quite some time.  Then I left the room, fully composed (or so I thought), walked right up to a presenter's table, and broke down again!  It was a GREAT first impression moment, let me tell you! LOL! :-)

But really, it wasn't.  It made me feel so uncomfortable to be the center of attention in a moment of weakness and vulnerability; a moment when - to this particular person - I would have defined myself as confident, composed, a leader, even an equal; a moment that was so full of so many thoughts and feelings that I couldn't even identify or articulate what was going on with me.  Can you relate?  Have you ever been there?

As I have taken time to reflect on that these last few hours, I have realized a few things:
1) Nothing happened at that Conference to CREATE those feelings that moved me to tears.  It was all stuff I was already carrying around inside of me, things that I had not had enough exclusive time by myself to think about or even realize were lurking in the shadows. We NEED that reflection time on a consistent basis!  It's how we are wired, really, as women!  And it isn't something that anyone is going to GIVE us - we literally have to CREATE it for ourselves.

2) I. Am. Vulnerable.  And I do not like to be vulnerable.  But as I learned from Tiffany Peterson (The Lighthouse Principles) this weekend, being vulnerable - being UNCOMFORTABLE - in the pursuit of your dreams is part of the process that will lead you to be unstoppable and successful!  I need to be okay with uncomfortable to get to MY real power!  Vulnerable is not always bad.

3) I still don't know exactly what was wrong with me, but I do know that it left me feeling this overwhelming sense of being incredibly directed and incredibly lost at the same time. And now I need to clear the lost and get to the directed to find what God was trying to teach me with it all.

"So, what?" you might ask yourself if you were me and were the kind that believed all lessons are only as valuable as the action they move you to make.  "So, what?"  To be honest, I don't know yet.  But I DO know that this is a step that is going to have a very real role in helping me define, create, and LIVE my dreams!  And whatever it is that is pulling my heartstrings is a very REAL and POWERFUL part of that.  Definitely a step to lead me to defining, internalizing, and creating those dreams.

What do I hope YOU will take from this? As Rapunzel said, "Haven't any of you ever had a dream?"  I think at times as mothers, the answer is "No" far too often.  The dream is lost in the process of living -- even living IT through motherhood.  But you have to HAVE the dream before you can go and LIVE the dream!  You have to DEFINE the dream before you can go and CREATE the dream.  And you have to EMBRACE the struggles that lead up to you having it before you can go and OVERCOME the struggles and turn them to empowerment in your pursuit.  Even if your dream IS motherhood and you are already LIVING it, you have to KNOW that it is your dream to fully LIVE it as such.

Go. DEFINE your dreams!  And then definitely, definitely - Go. Live (create) your dreams!

Embracing The University of Life

I remember attending a devotional my first year of college.  I don't remember who the Keynote speaker was, but I do remember that they invited his wife to speak right before him.
She was a tall, thin, very elegant, well-put-together lady.  As she spoke, she shared what she had studied in college, how they had met, that she had stayed home with their children, and then moved onto things she admired and appreciated in the man we were about to hear from.

One thing really impressed me . . . and stayed with me for years.  She said that she appreciated that "Bob" would come home at night and take the time to sit and visit with her about the news, what was happening in the world, what he had seen or learned that day, etc.  Because in her world, she had one channel and one language: Kid Speak.  She didn't have time to open the paper or turn on the news.  And she hated not being informed and having more intelligent thoughts and conversations each day that revolved around topics other than laundry, meals, daily arguments and disagreements, and whether or not her child would allow her to change his diaper.  I took a mental note that I would marry a man who would do the same for me. 

HOWEVER, I have since learned that it isn't enough for me to rely on what he brings home to me.  Our interests are so different that we both grow so much when we are both "bringing home" something interesting to talk about.  And no matter how hard he tries, I will never be interested in the intricacies of electronic warfare.  And no matter how hard I try, he will never embrace with childish delight any and all information on nutrition and health that I try to get him excited about.

But I also get that it isn't easy!  My life really does revolve in so many ways around "Kid Speak."  I served a mission in Chile. For years after I came home, I often spoke and interacted with Spanish-speakers and even taught in the Spanish language.  Then I had my twins.  And people with whom I had previously been able to converse with ease in the Spanish language started to tell me that I needed to keep up with it.  I needed to do this or say this or try to practice in this way.  And though I graciously thanked them, what I was really thinking inside was, "Friend - I appreciate the suggestion. But today I am feeling lucky to think and speak coherent thoughts in ENGLISH.  Keeping up my Spanish is the LEAST of my worries!"  And since I have an M.A. in English, that realization alone is also a punch in the stomach at times!  LOL!

Still, we HAVE to remember that our minds are incredible things!  But they are not stagnant things and can so easily turn to mush if we let them.  We CANNOT let them.

A great man once said that he would rather educate a daughter than a son.  Women, mothers, are the heart of the home, the Angels of the Hearth.  And what we have within us is what our children will glean from us.  We may get Kid Speak from them, but they are getting the words, the ideas, the attitudes, and the character BEHIND that Kid Speak from US!

My challenge to us all this week is to tap into that intelligence that is uniquely ours - to wake up our perhaps mushy brains and find something we are passionate about, something that puts the sparkle back in our eyes to talk about, and learn something about it that we didn't know before (or knew and have since forgotten).

In college, we were blessed to have a focused topic, degree, course of study, etc.  But this - THIS more important and much larger university we are studying in now - is the University of Life.  And it holds no bounds on us to restrict what we can learn, study, perfect, perform, and achieve!

So let's embrace and celebrate the revised school of learning ahead of us!  And lets make it a focused part of our lives TODAY!

STRESSED Much?

Are you stressed? Yes, yes, DESSERTS spelled backwards?  SILLY QUESTION!!! Who isn't? So what do you do about it? Well, we know that it helps tremendously to take time each day to meditate, to refocus on the things that matter the most. And for me, it helps when I am most stressed to get on my knees and offer thanks for all of the blessings I have received.

But other than that, give yourself a BIT of a break because stress is much more than a mental/spiritual/emotional reaction to life. It is also a very PHYSICAL reaction to your adrenal glands not being able to manage and function appropriately.

What do the adrenal glands do? In addition to helping you handle stress by helping manage your cortisol levels, these glands help control body fluid balance, blood pressure, blood sugar, and other metabolic functions. 

So, how do you know if your body is suffering from an OVERLOAD of stress?  Well, if any of the above are off, that's a pretty good indicator.  But to be a little more specific, check out this list of adrenal insufficiency symptoms: 

• weakness, 
• lack of libido, 
• allergies, 
• dark circles under the eyes, 
• muscle and joint pain, 
• dizziness, 
• low blood pressure, 
• low blood sugar, 
• food and salt cravings, 
• poor sleep, 
• dry skin, 
• cystic breasts, 
• lines of dark pigment in nails, 
• difficulty recuperating from stresses like colds or jet lag,
• no stamina for confrontation, 
• tendency to startle easily, 
• lowered immune function, 
• anxiety, 
• depression, 
• premature aging.

HOLY COW!!! Maybe you noticed they are very similar to thyroid insufficiency symptoms.  I sure did!

BUT before you run to the doctor, here is a great article about Adaptogens: nature's way to help manage stress. Pre- and post-pregnancy, I drink them in a mineral drink I have every morning and/or night when I need it (contact me if you want to know more about it). Adaptogens are helpful for EVERYONE!  Nature has a way of blessing us like that.

In the meantime - DEFINITELY teach your children NOW to plan in some down time to de-stress!  You could save them YEARS of health problems in the future!

For Every Stop . . . There IS a GO!

LIFE IS BUSY!  Isn't it?  It's like you set out to really accomplish a certain goal, and either that goal takes over and you find yourself overwhelmingly busy in the pursuit of it -- OR -- life takes over and you find yourself never quite getting around to it.

The answer is in my favorite word on this blog: DELIBERATE!  Take control of your life so it doesn't take control of you. Easier said than done at times, I know.  But as long as you consistently get back to it, you will achieve it!

Even so, there are times that life just does take over.  And it is just going to.  The stroller wheel is going to snap off while you're out on a family walk to get your daily exercise in.  The kids are going to experience new highs in independence that are going to leave your house (and world) turned upside down for a stage.  You spouse will have days (or weeks) at work that make it so he gets home an hour - or two or three - later than anticipated, thus throwing off all of your "plans" and "goals" to accomplish things for the day.  The perfect diet that you know is best for your body and makes you the absolute happiest - body and spirit - is going to fly out the window in the face of double-stuffed Oreos and ice cold milk.

And, let's face it, YOU are going to have times when you just SHUT DOWN because that is all you CAN do!

That is why I LOVE the simple promise of this priceless quote.  Because it is true!  Change is constant!  If you love where you are, realize that things can and probably WILL change . . . and it can and will only get better even than it is right now!  If you are struggling just getting through each day and appreciating and enjoying where you are, realize that things WILL change . . . this is only temporary.  Every stop is followed by a go.  And, if you are like me, the go will feel like a newfound freedom, and you will RUN, unstoppable, when you can again.  However long temporary may last, it will not last forever!

So how do you get through the hard times?
1) Keep your chin up.  This too shall pass and, though it will be a part of who you are, in most cases it will not DEFINE who you are.
2) Keep focused on your goals and vision of the joyous things in your life and the glorious dreams ahead of you.
3) Offer gratitude every day so you don't get lost in it.
4) Ask for help where you can.  Don't try to tackle everything on your own, particularly when you are already struggling.
5) Learn to identify and let go of the things that really don't matter - no matter what anyone ELSE may say.
6) Even in the craziest moments, find someone else who needs you and do something for them . . . even if it's something that you cannot make happen for yourself but desperately want to have (perhaps ESPECIALLY if it's something you cannot make happen for yourself but desperately want to have).
7) Force yourself to keep moving in the direction you want to go - even if it is just with ONE thing. Don't let hard times become quicksand.  Pull yourself out and keep moving FORWARD!